How Family Values Shape Who You Are

Family values shape how you think and act as a person. Whether they’re directly or indirectly enforced at home. In fact, probably most of stuff you deal with later in life can be directly linked to family values. In this case, you can absolutely blame or praise your family for how you turned out. 

Family values include the qualities that are most important to you as a family, such as integrity or hard work or kindness; they also define what you believe is right and wrong. Your family’s moral definitions might shape, for example, what you consider acceptable for public conduct, work ethic, and social views. When family values are well defined and reinforced at home, they become a part of who you are and how you act. It’s important to acknowledge this. If you’re dealing with a lot of grief or problems it can most certainly be linked to your family values. That doesn’t mean you have to carry those moral burdens with you throughout life. There’s always time to change. You’re not your parents. You be you.

My Family Values

For instance, I’ll give you a personal insight into my family values. I come from a middle class hard working family. Throughout my life it was instilled in me to get a well paying job so I could have a good life. However, what I later learned is that a well paying job doesn’t constitute a happy life. My parents grew up with the illusion of watching others living lavish lifestyles because of high end paying jobs but failed to acknowledge the sacrifice that comes with it.

As well, many of my selfish & narcissistic traits I got from my dad indirectly growing up. I can see it now because I have the same qualities of him. Again, I’ve acknowledged it and I’m working on them. Similarly, I get my stubbornness from my mam and because of this I’ve learn to hold terrible grudges. However, day by day I’m learning to make up with people and move on.

Your family values can fuck you up. It’s important to step out of your distorted reality and acknowledge these flaws and work on them.

Sound Family Values You Should Adopt 

  • Treat others as you would like to be treated.

I’m sure we’ve all heard this principle growing up. But if you ask me it’s a load of shit cause it’s completely subjective. Everyone is different. Some people are softer than others. In my opinion, people should be taught to treat people equally but be themselves. And if they don’t like you for it, that’s ok. Let your actions do the talking! Words are cheap never forget that. Don’t make people feel like shit. Make them laugh whether it’s at or with you. As long as they’re laughing that’s all that matters. It’s important that there attitude and demeanour towards others is open, kind, welcoming and willing to help.

  • Be Selfless

Growing up as a white male from a middle class family I can honestly say I was spoilt. However, that doesn’t mean I learned to be selfish. My parents didn’t always spoil me but others. They used to be extremely generous to close family, friends and neighbours. Anyone they knew closely and I seen that indirectly growing up. As a result, I’ve learnt to be selfless to those closest to me. What I’m trying to do now is show the same courtesy to those I don’t know. If you can make that persons life just a little bit better it will be worth it.

  • Your Actions Have Consequences

Most parents these days are awful at disciplining there kids. As a result, they get away with murder and don’t learn. Without proper discipline they’ll never get in routine or find a structure to keep them on track. That doesn’t me you should be strict but help push them in the right direction. You don’t want your kid to turn into that self righteous asshole that thinks they can get away with anything. Nobody likes that kid.

  • Discrimination 

You know the best way to teach your kid not to be racist. Don’t bring it up. Stop talking about. Treat everyone equally and don’t mention it. If you do then they’re aware and I’m not saying it’s not important to be aware. But once you know it then you can’t un-know it, if you get me? Just be kind to everyone you meet.

  • Compassion

I know the term ‘compassion’ is usually defined as the sort of sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. On the other hand, Compassion creates healthy relationships.Compassion builds friendships. Instead of thinking how much you hate your manager for not letting you have the bank holiday weekend off so you can sniff ket with your mates, take a deep breath, and try to understand the fact that your manager isn’t putting you in work just to piss you off, she probably has no choice. Always put yourself in the shoes of another person and think “how would I like this person to react to me”.

  • Stand Your Ground

It’s important to teach others to speak the truth, even if your voice shakes. People will yell at you, they’ll assassinate your character, they’ll try and physically beat. In that moment, know that you’re right. The defeated mind always resorts to violence but be empathetic with these people. Try and understand why they think like that. And if they’re wrong try and show them, don’t tell them. Similarly, try and see if you’re wrong by listening to what they have to say.

  • Don’t Force Beliefs On Another Person

Let them believe what they want to believe. If they want to adopt a religious view, leave them be. If they don’t want to believe, that’s fine too. Just don’t hold it against them. Everyone to their own. Except science. Encourage your kid to study science because that shit is factual and makes the world go round.

Clearly defined values help direct a person’s choices. Having a definite sense of right and wrong simplifies the decision process. Moreover, having defined morals can be especially influential to young people as they go through early life experiences.Parents are the natural role models of values to their children. You probably learned much of your moral code from your parents, who learned from their parents, and so on through previous generations. Ever hear people talk about a family’s “good name?” This passing down of values is where it comes from.

Be the leader and influence for your own generation to come.

Family Values

SJB & GQ.

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