There’s no greater emotional struggle than trying to maintain long-distance relationships within the scope of intimate ones. But what makes them so hard and why can’t people maintain them?
As divorce rates increase, chivalry rapidly fades away and the concept of marriage dissolves we’re left wondering, is it the lack of commitment that leads long distance relationships to be complete failures? On the other hand, it could be the longing for intimacy. Regardless, there is numerous variables to consider. In my own opinion, I think it comes down to personal preference. If you’ve been long enough with each other, you’ll make it work. Despite the obstacles laid out in front of you. That’s what loyalty is. However, if you’ve only been together a short time, it can be a lot more challenging. That’s not to say people in long-term relationships don’t have their challenges. Sometimes it can even be more difficult for them. We’re just trying to figure out why they don’t work and how they could work and is it worth it.
Why Long Distance Relationships Don’t Work Out
Before we begin, I just want to clarify something. I’ve never been in a long distance relationship nor have I ever tried to be in one. Everything here is from other peoples experiences and what they found to be challenging and where it went wrong for them. Personally, the commitment has scared me for a long time. I can barely keep up with my phone bill never mind another human being. However, I think it’s the fact that other peoples motives are to just be in relationships. Regardless of who they’re with. They just want that title. They don’t care who they’re with as long as they’re with someone.
Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand, why long distance relationships fail. They can fail for many reasons;
- Lack of commitment
- Lack of intimacy
- Lack of loyalty
- Wrong Person
- Things begin to fade.
It’s only in moments of absolute challenge or desperation do you find out who you’re really with. You have to ask yourself if your friends moved away or your parents moved away, would they stop being your parents? Would they stop being your friend? No, then how come it’s different for relationships. I honestly believe it’s because people want a relationship more than the person their with. Fundamentally, I believe long distance relationships don’t last because it’s a combination of all of the above. What people need to look for than is the equivalent bond to a friend or family member when getting into a relationship. Only then could they withstand the distance.
How Can Long Distance Relationships Work?
Well, we’ve identified the problems so let’s find a solution. After discussing the above people wonder why I have commitment issues. Above anything else, people should stop rushing things. Wondering when things are going to go to the next level. Wondering when’s the right time to say this or to say that. People should just find someone they enjoy spending their time with. Literally, it’s as simple as that. Ok sure you can enjoy your time with a lot of people but then let’s narrow it down. Everyone has their go-to guy, right? Your best bud, right? Well, there you go. The relationship you have with your other half has to be that equivalent. Once you found that then let things develop.
Don’t suffocate the relationship though. Give each other space so that when times come to take long breaks or have a long distance relationship they don’t feel that weird. As soon as you take that break you’ll begin to realize a void that you wouldn’t of experienced if you were just in a relationship for the sake of a relationship. From this, you would do anything to make it work.
In conclusion, I do believe long distance relationships can work. As long as you’re with the right person, your mind is in the right place and you have your shit together. If you can find that balance, only then can you make it work.
If you want to find out what constitutes a long lasting relationship check out our article on developing successful relationships
SJB & GQ